Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
