Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
