She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
