She's JV to your varsity
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
