What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
