And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The air taste purple.
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