Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
