Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
