I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
