why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize