I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
