If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
