Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The Olympian is in my bed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
