dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
