I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
