apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
