hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
