I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
