'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
