just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
