I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
