Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
