but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
