I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
