dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Houston, we have a blender
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
