My entire life is one complicated drinking game
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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