Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
