So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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