sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
