Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
