I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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