I feel like abortions should bother me more
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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