You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I cockslap morals
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
