I need help removing her.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
