Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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