god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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