I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
