Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
