Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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