Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
