Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize