Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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