I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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