I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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