so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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