if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I believe in your delicious
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
