doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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