Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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