i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
