I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
