THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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