OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
