So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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