Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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