dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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