I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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