People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
