I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
