Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
