are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
