wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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