Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I need moral support for this bender
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
