I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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